Things Christians shouldn't do

Christians and other people, too, really.

1. Simultaneously dismiss evolutionary theory and claim that homosexuality is a choice (or various other versions of bigotry) because procreation is the purpose of life. Um, if you use that particular argument against homosexuality, then you basically have to accept evolution.

2. Call themselves "pro-life" but support the death penalty. These people are clearly not pro-life, they're anti-abortion, or if they must label themselves pro-something, they're pro-fetuses (and sometimes anti-mother, but no, that's another anti). Granted, the fetus hasn't done anything and the death-row inmate (usually) has, but this is more a question of labeling than a conflict in beliefs.

3. Hold that allowing gay people marriage would somehow cheapen their own marriages. This is just mind-boggling. How, exactly? I mean, churches could certainly refuse to perform the ceremony at will, but to disallow civil unions for gay people is just ridiculous. And no, no one's going to marry someone of the same sex just for the benefits, unless that person were profoundly stupid (um, hello, you'd also be signing away some portion of your income to that person).

Oh, and no, this will not lead to marriages between humans and goats, or brothers and sisters, or brothers and brothers. Though, I suppose, if a man wanted to marry his sister there's no really good reason he shouldn't, if she also wants to marry him. I mean, their kids might be messed up, but that maybe no more so than unrelated people who both carry cystic fibrosis genes. Besides, there's no law about being married before having kids, so the it's-bad-biology argument doesn't really hold up anyway--if bro and sis want to have kids, they can do that. It'd be weird, yes, but possible. I'm normally opposed to criminalizing things merely because society finds them distasteful, so long as no one (or nothing, i.e. no animals) are being seriously harmed.

4. Use the Bible as a reference. For anything. It's not fair to pick and choose which parts you mean to follow (and would force others to follow) when you don't mean to use the whole thing. That's arbitrary. Not that lots of things aren't already arbitrary, but hey, why not strive for something better? So I say, if you condemn gay people based on the Bible, prepare to be stoned if you commit adultery. Unless of course some long-haired dude helps you out. Not that I believe that bit--I bet someone would've started throwing stones, regardless of the whole let him without sin cast the first stone. Someone would just say "to hell with you pal, we're having a stoning here, and you don't get to make the rules." Plus mobs aren't known for their susceptibility to reason.

5. Attempt to force religion on others, particularly their children. Because that's sucky and lame, and won't work 99.999% of the time.

Oh, hey, anyone know how to get excommunicated from the Catholic church, but without doing something that would send one to regular jail? I mean, will heresy do, and if so, how does one bring it to the attention of those in charge of excommunications? Just... wondering.