How can it taste so bad?

I have a new car, about which I will post later, when I have some pictures (taken with the world's crappiest digital camera, as we have yet to replace the cameras that were stolen).

So. Slimfast from a can. Dear God, it can be horrible. How can they call this flavor chocolate? How does adding protein make it so much more foul than the ordinary chocolate canned slimfast? What the hell kind of protein are they using? Catfood? Paint? It tastes like paint, but I didn't think paint had protein in it. Shudder.

And let us not even speak of the vanilla flavor--though I'm not sure if it's more or less offensive not to have that hint of chocolate to mitigate the paintiness--the vanilla is all paint, all the time.

The cappuccino flavor is ok, it's palatable, so long as it's really cold and is not drunk directly from the can (all canned slimfast will taste exactly like dirty pocket change when drunk straight from the can), but it, unsettlingly, makes one's pee smell like coffee for like, three days. It's truly disturbing.

I'm scared of the strawberry-in-the-can. Terrified. I imagine it must taste like strawberry paint, and I really don't want to go there.

Is it worth it? Maybe. I actually end up consuming fewer than 190 calories per can, because I can only choke down so much, and it kinda puts me off eating for hours and hours, because eew, and I feel I owe it to the new car, which is adorable, to be as cute as possible to match. But I think I'm going to have to stick to the chocolate powder mixed with skim, which is actually kinda good.

I'm singing, in my head, "Slimfast slimfast how you taste so bad?" to the tune of that song that goes "sugar sugar how'd you get so fly?" over and over, and whose video involves a hot UPS delivery girl. Apparently it's called Suga Suga and is by Baby Bash featuring Frankie J. Shockingly, the song-in-my-head's grammar is worse than the original. Or maybe I'm supplying the 'd and the actual song really says "sugar sugar how you get so fly." Whatever.