How could you possibly think I would care?

Does everyone have This Guy at work? The guy who has to tell you every. single. fucking. detail. of everything he does? Live! In real time! Because it's infuriating. It's one thing if you ask for my help with an issue--I have no problem rendering assistance if I'm not busy with anything else--but of course, This Guy would never ask for help. He is Smart Enough that he can Solve Any Problem Himself, evidence to the contrary notwithstanding. So it turns into an informational session, a briefing, on what he's doing. And how it's failing (because it must be impossible to fix, if he can't fix it!). So I walk over and fix it. And he comes back, five minutes later, to tell me how it's progressing, now that by sheer luck it seems to be functioning better.

I! Don't! Care!

Another coworker pointed out to our boss that the reason he does this to her--tells her in minute detail about his every action--because he used to work in an environment where that was not only encouraged but required (but he's worked here 7 years!)--but I'm not the boss of him. I could not conceivably have any interest in what he's working on nor how he's going about it. Except that he thinks he's so fucking smart and everything he does is so fucking fascinating that I must want to hear about it.

Well, I don't. So shut up. Go away. Leave me alone.