- Stop signs. Each person who approaches the stop sign must stop at it. The stop of the person in front of you never counts for you too.
- Red lights mean stop. Always. Even and especially when the stop light is specifically for a pedestrian crossing, and a (rather superfluous) crossing guard is escorting pedestrians across the street to school.
- Also, those lines across the road by stop signs and traffic lights? You're supposed to stop at them. The front of your vehicle may extend past them, but your whole vehicle must not.
- Don't block the intersection, you ass. I don't care if the light is green, if your car will be blocking the intersection for any length of time while you wait for the cars ahead of you to proceed, just wait at the stop.
- There is to be no application of makeup while driving, especially mascara and even at a red light.
- There is to be no eating of breakfast with a spoon in the vehicle, particularly eating out of a bowl (as opposed to a cup that can be stowed in a cupholder) in the vehicle.
- I know you're following me so closely when I'm driving the speed limit because you think my car is too slow. I have no incentive to prove you wrong by driving above the speed limit.
- Always signal when you mean to turn. Never signal when you don't. That clicking sound? Pay attention and turn off the turn signal.
- Pedestrians: you may not cross the road whenever and wherever you choose. If you run out from between two SUVs, there's a good chance someone will hit you, and you will deserve it. Crosswalks, people.
- I can see you picking your nose.
May 10 2005